February 23rd, 2009

Worst Dressed
I am so glad Jessica Biel made this so easy for me.

The white Prada duchesse satin gown, is so incredibly plain and boring - just like Biel.

That draped material didn’t work for me. In some pictures it ballooned out, and just looked ridiculous.

The complete the disaster, Jessica forgot to wash out the mounds of grease in her hair.

Most Predictable Award
No bling, but we get yet ANOTHER mermaid gown from Beyonce Knowles.

Yes it flatters her shape, but could she please play another record.

To be honest I liked this gown for about 10secs, before the camera panned gown. The hem is horrendous.

UPDATE:
You will/should not be surprised that his monstrosity is House of Dereon Couture. Only Tina Knowles could create this hot mess.

Wash Out Award
As much as I love this Elie Saab Spring 2009 Couture gown, the colour is so wrong for the beautifully pale Evan Rachel Wood.

The nude colour totally drains her, and washes her out. I would have loved to have seen her in a striking colour.

Her jewels are by Neil Lane.

Worst Red Award
I love Amy Adams, and I tried to love her Carolina Herrera red strapless gown, but I couldn’t.

Firstly I really dislike the black piping on the bodice, and I really dislike her green, blue and cherry red Fred Leighton necklace with the gown.

I’m 16, Going On 30 Award
Seriously this is TOO much dress for Miley Cyrus.

When will her stylist and her mother get a look right for this girl? Why do they insist on aging her so dramatically.

The Zuhair Murad Spring 2009 Couture gown itself is gorgeous. I love tiered scallop skirt, and embellished belt, but it’s a gown for a woman, not a child.

Most Boring Award
A lot of you said I was too kind to Kate Winslet by putting her on the Best Dressed List at the BAFTA Awards. Looking back I agree.

I did say I would put her on the Worst Dressed list if she opted for another dark colour, so here she is.

The dark colour is not the only problem, I really don’t like that embroidered mesh part on her grey YSL Atelier one-shouldered gown. It serves no purpose, in fact it ruins the dress for me.

Her look is completed with Chopard jewelry.

I Know You Like It, But I Hate It Award
I am sure a lot of you will hate me for adding Amanda Seyfried and her Valentino Spring 2009 Couture gown on the Worst Dressed list.

This gown was better strapless, as it was presented on the runway. The straps ruin the look for me.

Worst Hair & Make-up Award
I don’t even know the colour of Alicia Keys’ dress, because I am so horrified by the brown wig and shocking make-up.

Why, oh why?

Update: Armani Prive gown. Still so upset about the make-up and hair.

De Ju Vu Award
Don’t you feel like you have seen this Dolce & Gabbana mermaid gown a million times before?

We saw something similar on January Jones and Olga Kurylenko, that by now I am so over this look.

De Ju Vu Mark 2 Award
As much as I am a huge fan of Roland Mouret, this modified gown is not to dissimilar to the red Dior dress with the open neckline, which Heidi Klum wore to the Oscars last year.

What Black Again? Award
Not surprised at all that Angelina Jolie is wearing black. Can you believe this is by Elie Saab?

I am so used to seeing his dresses so colourful and embellished. I have never seen his designs look so plain.

She tried to punch it up a little with green Lorraine Schwartz earrings, but that’s not nearly enough.

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53 Responses to “2009 Oscars - Worst Dressed”

  1. Moody Crab says:

    I totally disagree with you on Kate Winslet. Yes it’s black but the dress is BEAUTIFUL!! The hair, the make up and everything else is on point.

    She rocked that red carpet.

    [Reply]

  2. MatteaAM says:

    ugh…i really have to go to bed now, but between ur blog and show on tv, its sooo hard too…
    ill regret it in the morning…
    cant wait for the posts…
    am still bit disappointed bout angie’s balck…-.-”
    oh, btw, some ppl are really stupid!!
    dont worry…blog!!^^
    xD

    [Reply]

  3. Atelier says:

    omg alicia keys looks hideous,,,she and “boring biel” both share the worst hair for me.

    [Reply]

  4. Payal says:

    That wig! How could Alicia? How could anyone let her out when it looked so fake!

    [Reply]

  5. MatteaAM says:

    oh, and cant wait to see where are you gonna put miley!!
    xD

    [Reply]

  6. Paige@Muller says:

    Ha! I said the same thing! The dress is lovely but man, I could hardly focus on it with her tranny hair and makeup. Though to be fair, I guess, a tranny wouldn’t have left the house looking like this . . .

    [Reply]

  7. MatteaAM says:

    ugh…i really have to go to bed now, but between ur blog and show on tv, its sooo hard too…
    ill regret it in the morning…
    cant wait for the posts…
    am still bit disappointed bout angie’s balck…-.-”
    oh, btw, some ppl are really stupid!!
    dont worry…blog!!
    xD

    [Reply]

  8. Paige@Muller says:

    and did you see jessica’s shoes???!!!! black pumps!!!! there is no shoe that could have saved her look but those just totally and completely killed it. she used to be able to dress herself. what happened? she got JT and quit trying?! *weeps*

    [Reply]

  9. Crazy/Beautiful says:

    I actually quite liked the YSL gown on Kate.:) and Loved what she did with her hair.

    Alicia Keys looks grossly hideous!
    Can’t decide which is a more ghastly sight… Alicia’s look here or Miley Cyrus’ mouth area????

    [Reply]

  10. Anonymous says:

    Kate has talented, thats what matter!

    [Reply]

  11. Anonymous says:

    Fashion critic I cant tell you how long Ive been waiting for this..you are an fashion oracle. Firstly may I thank you by giving me the longest laugh Ive had in quite some time by saying this “so incredibly plain and boring - just like Biel”. Oh gosh, I could not agree more. I agree with all you have to say here apart from Melissa George who I think looks quite stunning. Enjoy the biggest fashion evening of the year.

    [Reply]

  12. Shannae says:

    What was Alicia thinking!!!

    She looked horrifying on the red carpet… It looked like she was wearing a helmet!

    The most unfortunate thing about it was that her dress was actually very stunning…

    [Reply]

  13. Anonymous says:

    Its almost as if Jessica Beil goes out of her way to make herself look like a disaster.

    And you are right Miley is too young for that sought of dress. Look at her cleavage.

    [Reply]

  14. Atelier says:

    Helen Mirren would have looked amazing in miley`s Dress…

    [Reply]

  15. Anonymous says:

    i kinda wish Penelope Cruz wore the dress Miley wore (although I did like what she did wear). I dont really have a problem with how age appropriate it is, I just wish someone more important wore it because its so dramatic.

    [Reply]

  16. Cecily says:

    that dress on jessica is so unflattering. Especially from the side…

    [Reply]

  17. Anonymous says:

    I actually quite like Amy’s dress!

    [Reply]

  18. Moi says:

    You’re right, most of those dresses are so boring. Why is Miley Cirus at the Oscar?

    [Reply]

  19. Paulo says:

    What was Jessica Biel doing there to begin with?! But yes, I completely agree, she sucks the life out of everything.

    Miley’s dress should be worn by an adult…totally! She completely ruined the appeal of the dress.

    [Reply]

  20. Anonymous says:

    i disagree with what you said about miley, she looks young and fresh faced, her dress has such a princess feel to it that it suits such a young person. it is a gorgeous dress and it wouldn’t suit someone older.

    [Reply]

  21. Anonymous says:

    Beyonce’s dress is so hidious, the gold leaves look really tacky.

    [Reply]

  22. Anonymous says:

    Eeeeuuww, Cruz’s hair is disgusting. Did she do anything to it at all? *whispers that she can’t wait to see the best-dressed list*

    Oh, and add Angie to this list. Her dress was black and incredibly boring.

    [Reply]

  23. Anonymous says:

    I disagree with you on Kate my friend, the look is odd but is soooo Kate. I love how this woman can remain true to herself in whatever she is wearing.
    This is my first comment ever, but in terms on how much i visit your blog: you’ve created an addiction.
    Keep it coming!
    See u around.
    Vi

    [Reply]

  24. Haley. says:

    I’m noticing a fishtail gown trend tonight (:
    Vanessa’s being the greatest of course! Can’t wait to see your Best Dressed’s.

    [Reply]

  25. Crazy/Beautiful says:

    Jessica looks like she had just wrapped her satin bedsheet around her (as we do) after a raunchy night.
    But instead of heading towards the bathroom, which was her initial intention, she stumbled on the redcarpet @ the Oscars.

    FC..I’m sorry but can’t alicia’s close-up photo be taken off? just the close-up one.It just ruins the entire beauty of this page unfortunately.

    [Reply]

  26. Anonymous says:

    Beyonce’s dress is hideous!!! What happened! her choices have been so much better lately. The gold is awful.

    [Reply]

  27. Fashion Critic says:

    LOL @ Crazy/Beautiful. You are killing me over here.

    [Reply]

  28. robbie says:

    okay where to begin.

    miley she looks like a f*cked up glinda on drugs (if you have seen the musical wicked you will know what i mean) that pout, i want to smack that pout of her faces.

    kate totally disagree with you, i thought she looked amazing.

    alecia is scary, that close up looks look like of my friends in drag.

    amy looks nice but nothing overly special.

    beyonce srashy as always. butt ugly. wow we get it you have curves please wear something new for god sakes.

    jessica wow what a major bore.

    january boring, this is why im slowly disliking, that dress is just predictable dolce and gabbana *yawn*

    angelina, wow she makes elie saab boring. and could her hair get any higher?

    [Reply]

  29. Danika says:

    I know it is black but still there is no denying that Angelina looks stunning!

    [Reply]

  30. Silvana* says:

    i cant believe alicia left the house with that horrorific wig on..its horrible!
    and its true, we have seen that D&G dress melissa george wore like a ZILLION times…im over it..
    and ANOTHER potatoe bag for angelina jolie..im over her too.
    I saw amy adams's gown on the telly a few minutes ago, and i thought it was OK, but now that i see it..the whole thing is just a hot mess, the upper side of the dress looks like ligerie and it CLEARLY doenst match the necklace..she should go back to her RM by rolan mouret phase.

    [Reply]

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